imageThere is the following from an article The TRUTH about Jesus Christ? appearing in the San Diego Healthy Restaurants section of the Examiner. No really, the San Diego Healthy Restaurants section:

The evidence strongly suggests [Jesus] recuperated in a cave for three days, tended by Essene monks, who massaged him with an Aloe and herb mixture, covered him with what is now known as the ‘Shroud of Turin’, and nursed him though his Soma trance. (emphasis mine)

And this:

There is ample evidence that after recovering from the crucifixion,
Jesus eventually returned to Kashmir, where he had previously
grown "in wisdom and stature" (- Luke 2:52) during the 17 year biblical gap
regarding his whereabouts from age 13-30.

and this  . .

The evidence strongly suggests the reason Jesus "died" so quickly on the cross,
was because he was given Soma, an herbal concoction that was known to induce a
trance-like state for 3 days!

I’d like to add, “There is ample evidence, in this goof ball article, that anyone who can spell a few words correctly and breakup a stream of nonsense into something resembling paragraphs can write articles for the Examiner.

There is this (no there is nothing wrong with your browser):

The REASON the Catholic Church has gone to such lengths to try and "prove" the Shroud of Turin is "fake", is because they don’t want the world to know the truth the Shroud reveals:

Jesus was alive!

Thanks to a great number of writings from sources who met him throughout
his travels, both before and after the crucifixion, we can map out
the chronology of his life:

I’m not quite sure why James Cameron dug up a tomb in Jerusalem, claiming it was
where Jesus was buried next to Mary Magdalene. The evidence strongly suggests she went west into France, and Jesus went east, into Kashmir, where he lies buried this very day:

Ok, I know your mind is blown, but before you stick your head in
the sand of Blind Faith, read on…

And it gets better. To be fair, all of this comes, we are told in the article, from “an incredible book which meticulously details the archaeological & historical evidence surrounding the most influential human who ever walked the earth.”

The evidence strongly suggests that San Diego healthy dining may include Soma juice.