He does have a sense of humor. Thank God for that:

Needed urgently – scorch scanner (gd wkg cond)

Must be in tip-top condition – needed for important modelling exercise at the cutting edge of science.

Must be capable of handling images of 250nm thickness +/- 500nm (best estimate available for target icon, based on  1980s vintage state-of-the-art sticky tape technology).

Must be capable of handling horse-brass size images – especially faint ones at the limits of visibility (see second from left above prior to 3D-image processing). Ability to upgrade to 4.4 x 1.1 metres an advantage, coupled with ease of portability and ability to fit through cathedral doorways.

imageMust also be capable of handling ancient scorches, including flaking specimens, up to 800 years old.