[What you describe] is actually the position of one of the commenters on Porter’s blog, Hugh Farey, the new Editor of the British Society for the Turin Shroud:
Unlike my predecessors, whom I think are more or less committed to a pro-authenticity point of view, I myself currently incline more towards an accidental 14th century origin for the cloth now preserved in Turin. (Editorial – by Hugh Farey, BSTS Newsletter, No. 78, December 2013).
And Porter thinks MY hacking proposal is "ridiculous"!
That must have been SOME accident! Did some mad 14th century scientist experimenting with light-sensitive chemicals accidentally tip over his test tubes onto his workbench. And then he used his ~4.4 x 1.1 metre linen bench covering sheet to mop it up, lying on it naked front and back to apply maximum pressure, and hey-presto! There was the photo of his naked body, front and back, on the sheet???
I’ll drink to that. Thanks for the laugh.